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Review:ravenclaw_princess says:
Well done on your first chapter I really enjoyed it. It was very emotive and you wrote it really well. I liked the use of metaphors, they really added a depth and imagry to the story which helped to set the mood and capture the scene.

I like Dom so far. She obviously has a lot going on in her life and he misery and despear were nicely characterised. I also liked Rose, she seemed very sweet and in contolled. The interaction between the two was also very nice.

The ending of this chapter was a little sudden for my liking. The theme of the chapter, which is Dom losing control and running away, was nicely summed up when she was with Rose on the couch. Going to summerbee house is a very different theme and I felt it broke the flow a bit. I have no idea of course what is coming up, but I feel it might work better at the start of a new chapter. Or alternatively, have more of a link between her crying with Rose and then being at summerbee house to smooth the transition.

Overall, this is a very promising start. It's really nicely written, full of detail and emotion, and I could really feel Dom's disposition while I was reading it. Good job.

Author's Response: Thank you for the review and feedback! I really appreciate it :) I know it's a bit sudden - I do need to work on transitions! :P However, things will be revealed later. The story will skip around a little bit, so hopefully it'll make sense later! ^-^ Thank you for reading!

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