Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Badger says:
Sorry for being late! First of all: I LOVE Remus/OC stories. Wooo! Also, I think at the very beginning when you said Arabic was in “bold” you meant to say “italic.” :)

Characterisation: I felt like the letter from Dumbledore was a bit off... It seemed a little to informal and not quite like him (he may have been informal with Harry, but I always got the impression that he was rather business-like with other students). Maybe just change a sentence or two. Like, instead of “very sorry for informing you this late,” say “We are sorry for any inconvenience this late notice might have caused.” :shrugs: Just a thought! In the other scene though, he was perfect.

I really like Hiba though, I'm not gonna lie. It's so rare to see OCs of different nationalities and race. There's so much you can do with this! :D The dialogue is strong and the other characters seem very solid and realistic. Oh and the interactions between her and her brother crack me up. :P Very sibling-esque.

Flow: Great! Not too fast, not too slow. Awesome!

Plot: I don't really know enough about what's going to happen, but your extremely rare OC is enough to make what could be a cliché Marauder/OC story really interesting. Can't wait to see what you're gonna do with it!

Technical: Also fantastic! No major spacing, spelling, grammar, punctuation errors that I was able to pick out.

If you need more advice, just PM me and we can over it in more detail. :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your help! I realise that I took an awful long time to respond, but I will certainly PM you if I need help! xxx

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 898
Submit Report: