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Review:Mintleaf says:
Hi! :)

Your word usage is occasionally a little odd, but nothing stood out enough to comment on! :)

I don't think McGonagall would have outed her in front of the whole class! But then again, if she hadn't it wouldn't have been good for your plot so it's ok haha.

I think Dumbledore's demeanor is right but his speech isn't. He's such a tricky one to right, isn't he? Also, maybe you can put some other stuff in there before Millicent explodes; her anger doesn't seem provoked quite enough! :)

I think you ought to rework your first paragraph. It seems a little stilted compared to the rest! :)

I think you could really do to expand on things a lot, and add more description. It felt a little more like a chapter in a story rather than a one shot. Add a little more mystery to who stole her paper! More suspense and drama! :)

A solid job though, good work.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review. i will deffinately work on the things you mention. as for the expanding i didnt really have a whole lot of time to write this because i had two weeks to get it through my beta and into the queue if i wanted it to count for one of the common room challenges for slytherin so i couldnt really add a whole lot to it without the fear of going over my time i had to do it. Again thank you so much for your review.


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