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Review:Akussa says:
Hey dearest!

Lovely story; I enjoyed it a lot. some parts were simply breathtaking so much that the way you wrote them was beautiful.
I really like your prose; you have a real gift for narration and detailing. It is a pleasure to read your work.

ISome things did sound a bit strange though and I wish to give you examples of it. This is not a critique, simply these things caught me off gard and broke the flow, in my opinion.

"All things that begin begin before they've really begun."; I think there should be a coma between the two 'begin'

"the words rolled off her nose sweetly, but coldly."; that sounds weird... rolled off her thong maybe?

Overall, a great story that I enjoyed a lot; excellent work!

Akussa

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the wonderful review Akussa! I really appreciate it, and thanks for pointing those out to me! I must have missed them, but no more! I really appreciate your reviews, so thank you so much!
Annie


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