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Review:libby103 says:
Hey!

My thoughts on this chapter were everywhere as you'll see as the review progresses. Apologies if it's too long and not comprehensible!

Hermione's thoughts on Ron's bedroom definitely had a nostalgic mood that remained very canon and was a great way to tie the reader down to the chapter. (Make sense? Probably not...)

The scene in Ron's bedroom was okay. It seemed a bit weird. First off, it wasn't clear what Hermione was mad about or how she noticed the bottle to get mad about to begin with. Also, I'm not sure if the boys were ever drinking to begin with, and if they wasn't the bottle some sort of alcohol versus a prank? And if they weren't, what is up with them getting rid of the "rest of the alcohol" and bringing up being drunk first? However, I did like the scene because of the whole mention of George struggling to still be a prankster and not being able to keep it together. That was the redeeming quality.

The fact that the chapter is set right before Harry and Ginny's wedding was a bit lost on me. I thought it was a little bit longer before, not the day of.

There could've been more description. There were many scenes that I couldn't visualize well because of lack of.

Luna's line of "Nice day for Nargles" is a bit weird. I'm a big fan of Luna, though, so I'm a bit weird for noticing this. My point is that Nargles are a bad thing. ...It would be bad for it to be a good day for Nargles on their wedding day.

At first I didn't like your continuous comparison to Bill and Fleur's wedding, however, I think it did well to foreshadow that disaster would happen at the reception. I just never saw it coming until it did haha.

So, I saw you're getting a beta for this, so you can ignore the following comments on sentence structure and obscurity:
-The first sentence of the chapter makes no sense to me at all.
-When you say "the Tiara" and "the last wedding," you should clarify more.
-Hermione's reflections on not being part of the family was very jumbled to the point of sounding unrealistic.
-You never put a period after "Mr"

Overall, there were a lot of small details here that were really good and together made this chapter's plot pretty packed for a single chapter. However, there were also the small things that took away from how spectacular it could be. I'm glad you're getting a beta for this because it definitely has potential.

from,
Liberty

Author's Response: hehehe, oh lib :')

Thank you :)

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