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Review:NeverGotHerLetter says:
Wow that was absolutely amazing! It was chilling and scary and also gave a really realistic account of what happened. It wasn't too over the top and it didn't give us the pretence of Illyana being cool and collected about it, because honestly that wouldn't happen :)
I really liked the secret room being added in but the 'four white pillars' just reminded me to much of Malfoy Manor. I think you should change the description because the Malfoys were the RICH death eaters... was McNair really that rich? Or is this AU McNair. Anyhow it still reminded me of the Malfoys' place.
One more little bit of CC, the ending was too abrubt for my liking. It would have worked if you had put something more descriptive and gives us a clear view of what Illyana is feeling, like the sentences before and indeed the whole story so far. I think that just "Illyana cried." isn't a sufficient ending for a story which has shown a much higher calibre of writing before.
But still a fantastic story in which I hope there'll be another chapter soon :D Another 9/10 :)
~NeverGotHerLetter x x x x

Author's Response: Hi again! Sorry my responses have been delayed!

Haha, oh no, I don't think many people could remain cool and calm in a situation like this at all. Yay for chilling, realistic, and scary! I'm so happy you felt those things while reading this.

As far as the Manor concerns, it isn't as big as Lucius' Manor that's for sure. However, remember, Illyana is a Malfoy too ;) As the next chapters come out, more will be revealed in terms of Walden MacNair's connections.

Hmm, while I already know I'm not going to drastically change the ending, I appreciate your feedback on this section. I'm glad that you got the sense of a degradation in description and language, because that was my intention. As Illyana breaks down, so does the language, in my opinion. But maybe that parallel wasn't executed as well as I thought it was...and I will read that part over too. Either way, I'm glad that you find that I have a high calibre (awesome word!) of writing haha.

Thanks again, I'm glad you enjoyed most aspects of the story this far! =)

Best,
Ellie


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