This was so, so lovely ♥
The number of times I scroll through 'recently added' and actually find what I don't realise I'm looking for isn't great. Sometimes the Ron/Hermione missing moment appears amidst everything, sometimes the guilty pleasure of Remus/Sirius and sometimes, a Molly II story that I can actually stomach.
I go into reading every one that I do with the utmost caution; it's hugely arrogant and selfish but people who write her in what I consider the wrong way grate on me. You most certaiiinly did it in the most wonderfully right way.
To start, I love how all the dialogue is reported. When I was younger, I used to be good at it but over the past three years or so, I've lost the knack so anyone who pulls it off as you did here goes right in my good books. It really helped emphasise the simplicity of the moment, of the barista and his world and this snapshot of his morning.
Using his perspective (kind of) to tell this is also a stroke of genius, by the way. I really, really enjoyed the way you did that and how this neutral set of eyes saw everything. His character was wonderfully shaped and the way he perceives the other two characters is equally as well crafted.
I adore the way you've characterised Molly. Almost as soon as you'd started to describe her, even from the line of her almost tripping up the step (been there so many times), she became really vivid to me on a visual scale and in terms of her character itself. This isn't especially long yet I got a real for her and the OC, who I felt a real jolt of pity and wonder about.
Oh gosh, rambling. I do this when I like something. I'm a really annoying reviewer so I'll stop. Favourited - I absolutely adore it and I hope other people will come to see how lovely this is set to be. I'm really interested to see how and where you take this from here. It was absolutely lovely and I'm really rather jealous of you for thinking of it first :P
Author's Response: I'm so glad that this lived up to your expectations! I know exactly how you feel. I often go through stories and find one that looks amazing but I approach it with trepidation because I know how easy it is for a story to look good on the surface but not deliver. And then the stories that do deliver leave me in awe. To think that you thought this story was one of those stories is amazing. Really amazing.
It's interesting that you mentioned Molly II stories that "[you] can actually stomach". I have not read too many but from what I have read, I know that a lot of authors just label her as "Percy's daughter" and don't really give her substance. I wanted to change that when I wrote this.
I didn't even realise that I had no dialogue in this until I finished the first chapter. So I don't know if it was a conscious decsion to not explicitly write the dialogue out and, instead, describe it, but I'm glad that you thought it worked!
I had a lot of fun with the barista. I loved crafting him and I know that my image of what he looks like will be very different to yours and I doubt you would be able to guess his first name (or, at least, the first name that I envision him to have), but I don't think that matters. It's more what he sees, what he thinks and it's nice to know that you enjoyed him! Using his perspective was not part of the original plan. I originally was going to have this from the male OC's character's perspective but once I started describing the coffee shop, the barista came from nowhere. I really enjoy writing from his perspective!
Thank you for saying that about Molly! It was hard to characterise her without the aid of dialogue so I was a bit worried. I also was worried that I made her a bit... idealistic, I suppose? I mean that in the sense that she was a bit too carefree and too flighty, so it's so reassuring to know that you liked her!
I'm glad that you pity the OC. (From a writer's perspective, that means that I have you invested in this which is awesome!) I do, too. I don't know what has made him so sad but something tells me that he won't be too sad for very long.
And you are definitely not an annoying reviewer! This is probably one of the nicest reviews I have ever gotten. And I'm blushing at your closing comments. I often read a story and think, "Now, why didn't I think of writing this before this author did?" and to think that this story is one of those for you is just... there are no words for it.
Thank you so much for your review! Hopefully my next chapter won't disappoint you (it should be up soon!)