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Review:Aiedail says:
oooh this gave me major goosebumps! i love the way that you manipulated the accepted verb/subject/object/modifier order in the repeated sentences of the first three paragraphs; it set a sort of smooth and even stage, propelling me forward into the next sentence. i love that you use verbs sparingly; the lack of action in the majority of the piece sort of reflects the place itself that you describe. the tone is perfectly monotonous, though not uninteresting. you put things the way that they are, without sugar-coating them, and yet they seem too blasé to be true, almost. but when you push past the barrier that the mind sets up for us for protection, it just sort of hits you. things you can read of a hundred times are actually things that would drive you, and people much better and stronger than you, absolutely mad.
i thought that the last sentence sort of culminated all the straight-lined sentences like a dark black period. it was nice, and shocking in its way, although you sort of knew it was coming. and it's ironic that all of what you describe in the earlier paragraphs--all 498 other words--lead up to that, to nothing. that you can spend 498 words talking about something to have its summary be nothing. it's chilly, and brittle, but dense all at once.
i don't need to tell you how skilled you are at this, but i will anyways. all of your stories are touching and, that really sets them apart from so many other things that one could be reading.
well done, jane! :)

Author's Response: Goosebumps?! That's awesome! :D Writing this piece was very different for me, as it kind of broke all my usual style and tossed the pieces out of the window. As it were. :D I'm very, very, very glad (and relieved, to be honest) to hear that you liked it!

You're so sweet, Lily. Thank you so much. :) *squish*

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