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Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Her body began to shake less and less as se drifted into slumber.-- the typo is the se, should be she.

And again, he uttered those fateful words, and gain he walked away.-- Again instead of gain.

Hi there, LMW from the forums with your requested review. You requested just for a general review of your writing style.

I pointed out the major typos I saw that could be fixed very easily with just a quick look over and just some outlining and rereading.

I think that doing a song fic is very doable and that this song could apply to Ginny and Harry especially after their break up. Ginny in my mind was mostly in character simply because she was by herself; in person, I don't see Ginny moping over Harry or allowing him to dictate her thought so much. On her own, however, I could see her having a break down and really thinking about him.

As far as your writing style goes, I think you have real potential. You have a pretty good understanding of how to format sentences effectively and use a little bit of variety between simple, compound, and complex sentences. I also noticed that you add description and emotion as apporiate.

Your pacing and flow has a little bit of issue, but transitioning is hard; I think with time and practice you could smooth out those sort of issues. It is a basic one-shot but this is a good way to practice all that.

My best advice would be to keep writing; it doesn't have to be FF. Just writing ideas and writing down thoughts will help. I hope this is what you were looking for when you were considering the request. Best of luck as you continue and grow.
LMW

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your time! This is really helpful feedback and I really appreciate it. I'll definitely take what you said into account as I continue to write.
Thanks again for taking the time to read this!!


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