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Review:Mintleaf says:
Hello! Here with your review! I'm excited to be reading more marauder stories haha :)

Grammar/Readability:
I've never been a particular fan of things written in the present tense, but I think this is well written enough to excuse that haha! :)

'smattering of polite applause' this is perfect for this sentence! :)

I think you might benefit from going back and running a critical eye over the complexity of each sentence. Particularly watch your use of commas, as in you could use a few more!


Characterization:
I hope that James and Lily don't become too cliche! Remus and Alice are written well though when they're mentioned! Make that Sirius too :)

So is Frank the fifth Gryffindor boy in their year? I like that, he always seems to be older but this is a nice change!


Plot/Flow:
Your opening sequence was precious! It was really, really cute.

I definitely don't think you should give up (although I obviously know you didn't), but I hope you don't fall into too many cliches, although I know how avoidable it is with marauders era stories; i'm guilty of the same!

Author's Response: I'm trying so darn hard not to fall into cliches! Please tell me if you find any and I will gladly go back and try to rework them! I'll also look over this again and tryo to fix anything small.

Thank you so much for such a helpful review!

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