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Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hullo there, LMW back with your request and I was excited to read more of this story.

I definitely think that you have a good amount of originality going on with the plot; I like Hibba a lot and I think she has a personality we all recognize as readers. That being said, I think that she is still a little flat. Her fear is clear, her passion and love of her culture is clear, her opinions of Maraduers and all are clear but I just wonder like why is she in Ravenclaw? Why is it okay with her religion to have magic and Allah be such a huge part of her life? How does she interact with people outside her comfort zone--outside of Jill and maybe Ernie?

With time, you can help build a character and plot but I think you are doing well to integrate her culture and Hogwarts; like I loved the blip about her oversleeping and not worrying about her hair. It is a clear way to get the reader to see, for example, why it would be a bonus to wear a Hijab.

Your plot is a bit boring in this chapter; I feel like Hiba's nervousness may have been a bit overextended but overall, it was all right. I'm more intrigued to see her in class maybe or how she deals with First Years looking at her. Your flow and pacing works, but I may add a bit more detail or action even though it is early. Such slow pace could deter readers.

Overall, I don't think it was a bad chapter--just more of a filler. Best of luck and I hope any CC helps. You really have a potentially awesome story on your hands.


Author's Response: Thanks once again for the helpful review! :)

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