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Review:electricfeel says:
Hi, electricfeel here with your requested review :)

First, this is such an interesting premise for a story. I have never came across a story that takes place inside Azkaban. I can see why many people might avoid writing it, but you've really taken a chance here and I truly think it has paid off.

This was very well written. You've managed to capture the horrors of Azkaban and of the dementors. The part where Sirius sees himself at Godrics Hollow but the woman is screaming in Azkaban was one of my favourites. You really managed to translate the power of the dementors, bravo.

"Some started muttering incoherently, others looked confused and shaken, and one loud "HA!" had most certainly come from his cousin. Sirius shuddered, and raised an eyebrow when the faces slowly sunk back into the shadows. " -- I also really liked this part. I love how Bellatrix is subtly mentioned for the hardcore HP fans, and the "faces that sunk back into the shadows" is such a startling image to leave the reader with.

Now, the only thing I do think you need to work on is grammar. All spelling is pretty much spot on. And when I say grammar, I don't think your grammar is particularly poor, it just seems like there are just small mistakes that you may have missed. I feel like just to read through a few more times would help, or to read it aloud even. Because, otherwise this chapter would be near perfect, there's just this tiny little flaw which is so easy to fix.

Anyway, I really hope this review helped. Feel free to request again :)

Author's Response: Hi Electricfeel! First off, I really am so very sorry for taking so long to respond - my computer has been crashing a bit these past few weeks :(. Your review means a lot so I do hope that you forgive me and my lousy computer.

Thank you! I have never written an entire chapter about Sirius before, so this was very new for me. I think what attracted me to this type of story was because there aren't many around. :)

Is it creepy that I have always found Dementors easy to write? I love the darkness that they hold hehe :P I'm glad you liked that part – it was something that I wasn't entirely sure about!

Well, you can't write about Azkaban and not mention dear old Bella! Hehe I'm a huge Bella fan so I had to include her :P I wanted that line to be creepy! I'm so pleased you liked it!

Thanks for pointing the grammar mistakes out - all has been fixed now :3

Ah, thank you so very much for this amazing review, and once again I am so sorry for this very late reply. I greatly appreciate the time you took to read this! :)

Cheers, darling!
-Elizabeth


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