Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:electricfeel says:
Hi, electricfeel here with your requested review. You didn't specify which chapter you would like me to review so I'm reviewing the first, I hope this is ok!

First off, your banner and summary were just so alluring! The banner itself is beautiful and the summary really drew me in, you've helped to set your story up as exciting and action-packed. It's a fine example of how a story summary should be done.

I really loved the first few paragraphs, your main character seems very likeable and I especially loved the way you highlighted how different her life will be now that Dumbledore is dead and the war has begun. It's very true that life for her will be extremely different and I liked how you pinpointed this early on in your story.

The first few paragraphs really seem to be where your writing shines, you've set up your story well and the flow and pace of it worked brilliantly. I feel that when you use dialogue, however, it begins to feel a little bit rushed. It's not a major flaw or anything, it's just a little thing that I think could be worked on to really develop your writing skills and take your story to the next level.

Overall though, it's a very strong beginning. You've set up your characters and plot well and definitely offered enough mystery to encourage readers to read on. Well done!

Anyway, I really hope this review helped :)

Author's Response: Hey! Sorry about the non-specification, I realised that after I posted the request, but the first chapter's fine :)
Thanks! I can't take any credit for the banner obviously, but I'm glad the summary was effective :)
I do have a tendency to abandon description once I get into action and dialogue but I hadn't really noticed it, so thanks for picking up on that. I'm glad I got the introduction to the character right, and thank you for your comments on the first few paragraphs, they made my day. Thank you so much for the review and I'll keep what you've said in mind :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 210
Submit Report: