Hey! This is lizzacc from the forums with your review. ^_^ I hope you're doing well.
The first thing I noticed was your author's note. :P And it seemed so long! Teehee. I think that's because the spacing was messed up a bit. Trust me, I know all about that. *rolls eyes* But you should probably fix the spacing issue eventually. The author's note seemed very... protective of the story? Hehe, I hope you don't take that the wrong way! It's a good story, really, and I just think you should let it speak for itself. Know what I mean?
Anyways. I loved all of the characters! Rose and Hugo, in particular. I thought they were a brilliant mix of Rose and Hugo. Rose cares nearly as much as Hermione about her marks and all of that, but the Ron in her is careless about it. And like her father, she has trouble keeping her emotions - jealousy, in particular *wink wink* - in check. I loved how Hugo was Hermione's spy, and his reaction at Rose getting an A! I could still see the Ron in him, however. Scorpius was good, too. I liked how he was always pretending to be cool and collected, like nothing ever fazes him. The only bit that bothered me about Scorpius was how he said he hated his father. This is fanfiction, obviously, and anything can happen- especially with Next Gen! But I dunno... it just seemed a bit too much.
In the end, it's a light and fun one-shot. It's not too serious or dark, but a sort of "who cares?" ScoRo moment. It's fluff, at the end of the day, and there's nothing wrong with that. We all need some fluff in our lives. ;) It's believable, as well. How Rose is facing pressure from her family, her thoughts on her relationship with Scorpius, all of her worries and then the "Oh who cares? We're happy together. Who has to know?" moment.
My only CC would be to work on your grammer and the spacing a little bit. There were a few grammer mistakes here and there- nothing major, really. :) Just remember that a comma or a period would come before the quotation marks.
Overall, it was just really light and fun. I loved the bit about Hugo's childhood nickname being Watermelon- very funny! The flashback was a bit more serious, but all of the dialogue between Hugo and Rose lightened it all up. Great job!
Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for this, I really appreciate it. Hahaha yes, the authors note.. I really should shorten it shouldnt I? I am protective of it I suppose, though I know I shouldnt really feel the need to defend it for being so fluffy! Oh and the spacing - I'm so bad for that! In a lot of my fics!
Hehe I really wanted that mix of Ron and Hermione and I'm glad it came accross. Yeah, scorpius' attitude is a reaction against his parents I suppose. Yeah, that was a bit harsh? I think Scorpius comes to terms with what draco did, but not just yet. A lot of 15 year olds are irrational about their parents! But you make an excellent point.
Thanks for the CC - I'll have a look at that!
Hehe I'm glad you liked it. Again, credit for Watermelon goes to hpgrl - what a great name!
Thankies again!!! :D