Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hello there, LMW from the forums with your requested review.

So your story has an interesting premise--a female Auror partnered with James Potter. The summary seems intriguing so hopefully it'll be able to pull in more readers. Your graphics are beautiful so they will probably help as well.

Now, plot-wise, this is a pretty ordinary set-up for the beginning of a new story. You don't overwhelm us with too many new characters or details. You make her life seem a bit ordinary which is actually nice to read. However, beware the traps of a cliche OC; watch out that she is "so" talented as the top of her class or that she has really special powers. It could turn the story cliche fast.

Your biggest issue is your grammar and mechanics. When you do dialgoue, you need punctuation whether it be a period, comma, question mark, exclamation point, etc. For example, "Get the door," Mark said. Note the comma before the " and after door. You could also just say, "Get the door." But this is a key issue that distracts seriously from your story.

A beta would be highly reccomended on my part to you; I'd also watch how I phrase things and use commas, dashes, and semicolons. This will all help flow as well as readibilty of your story. Make sure you capatalize words like Auror and anything else that is capatlized in canon.

Hope this review helped.

LMW

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review, I will defintely look into getting a beta for this!

Thank you again.

x Ely

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net