Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:
Hullo love. I must say that I squealed with legitimate delight when I saw that you had updated this. I must say I have missed it so and it is easily one of my favorite stories that anyone ever requested reviews for. This is why I opened my thread-- to find stories that I wouldn't find on my own that are excellent and original.

Okay, I think I've given enough praise for the moment. Time for some character ranting. FINALLY!!! Ted has a voice and we get some major insight on him as a character! I think that was seriously my favorite part of the entire chapter--the simple fact that Ted got some POV and we as readers got some introspection into him.

So, I really liked the interaction between Narcissa and Ted; it is a dynamic I always was curious about. How it would work between the two of them, how they would treat one another. You can up with the perfect scearnio to see this happen and to give it life. So bravo to you on all counts for that.

I loved the beginning of the chapter; your descriptions were lovely, and your diction was well chosen. I thought that it relayed the perfect mood and tone for the chapter as well as the greater story going on in the greater picture.

As far as grammar and all go, it was pretty free of typos of what I could find. Your diction is good overall; there were a few parts that got a bit wordy for me. But I can't remember any that were too terrible. Commas are getting better and better. There are some areas to check up on though. For example, 'As he lets himself back into their house he stifles a groan.'-- comma after house. It could go either way but I think the comma would help the flow.

The other comment I had on flow was from Andromeda to Ted. It switches in the middle of a paragraph and its a bit awkward. I'd reccomend switching to a new paragraph. That's all I can really say about the flow.

My other heartbreaking part was Andromeda's reflection of how she hurts Tonks. It makes Andromeda a bit more real and sympathetic toward me as a reader. Darn you, you totally get a rise of reaction out of me with your characters.

Well done. Hope all is well for you; have a smashin' weekend!

xx Lindsey

Author's Response: Ah! Your reviews make me SO SO happy!

It just felt the right time to switch to Ted's view of things. There was so much left to be said that I didn't think could be expressed through Andromeda's eyes. It was a tough decision - I was actually really unsure whether it would work, but I'm glad I chose to do it. The ubrupt change was also a difficult thing to do - I didn't want to make it obvious like "TED'S POV" or anything, because that sort of thing drives me mental. But I think it does need a good look over to just check the balance is there.

Thank you so much for returning and leaving such a fantastic and helpful review! Thank you!!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 877
Submit Report: