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Review:gingersnape says:
Hello again, tis gingersnape with your review for Chapter 11!

So, the usual format format for the review, and without further ado, let the reviewing commence!

The scene with Tina in the hospital wing was interesting and I was glad that she did go to see Madam Pomfrey. It was funny seeing that Madam Pomfrey didn't know her even though Tina is one of the more injured students, mostly because she doesn't go to see Madam Pomfrey. Two highly nitpicked things. First, wouldn't Madam Pomfrey have seen all of the bruises when she looked at Tina's wound? That, and why were James and Peter in the hospital wing? I didn't really understand what they were doing there if the other patient wasn't revealed and they didn't say anything to Tina.

I love the scenes with Molly so far. I know they aren't hugely important, btu I think Molly is such a nice character, even if she isn't quite as friendly as Lily. I'm curious to see how Tina's fresh air (hehe, I'm actually listening to Fresh Air on NPR right now :D) excuse will hold up, though I think she won't last too too long with it!

Spelling and Grammar: Hmm, well I noticed at the beginning you had "see" instead of "she" but that would be the biggest typo that I noticed. There were some others, but not too many. Good job on that!

Pacing and Flow: As usual, there were some spots that were not quite as smooth as others, but it did end up coming together quite well and I wouldn't say there were any overall major things that needed to be fixed or thought over!

Overall, another great chapter that I enjoyed and can't think of much else in the way of CC to give you. There is probably something I am missing, but I really can't put my finger on it or even come up with a general idea of something that needs CC on it!

Very lovely chapter, and onto Chapter 12 now! (Eeek, my reviews are getting shorter and shorter, but I can't think of anything else to say, so I guess they are going to be short then, right? :C)


Author's Response: Hello again, tis Lily with your reply to your review of chapter 11!

To the first nitpick- she may have, or she may not have but from what we have seen in the books it seems like Madam Pomfrey doesn't really push students to tell her what actually happened- she just heals them (like in whichever book it is where Ron gets the dragon bite) Well, if you don't know who the other patient was then that will remain a mystery to you... but I will say this... it was the full moon last night. Very large hint I know but it's not something that's very crucial to the story so I thought I might as well give it away. They didn't say anything to Tina because they didn't want her to figure out who they were visiting... :/

Well, they're not dumb so I don't think it will hold up that long... glad you like the Mollster!

Thanks for pointing it out, I will one day get round to proof reading this story :/

Thanks! And it's quality over quantity you know! ;P


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