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Review:orderofthephoenix says:
Hey! I'm here with your review :)

This was certainly interesting to read because it was written in present tense. Most of the stories written on HPFF are in the past tense so it was a little unusual. But you stayed with the same tense all the way through and it worked so well done for that!

I like the storyline in this chapter. Apart from spelling/grammar mistakes, which I'll elaborate on below, I think you understood their characters. You wrote the dialogue between Lily and Severus really well :D I would have liked to know what was in that room though; I was interested in that :)

I'm afraid the one problem I had with this chapter is punctuation. There are a lot of sentences that need commas, semicolons and even full stops. Occasional mistakes are easy to ignore but I'm afraid I was constantly distracted by the lack of punctuation.

I would strongly suggest finding a beta to look over your chapters and correct spelling/grammar mistakes. You can find them on the forums. :)

A nice start to your story. :)

-Sophia x

Author's Response: Thank you for the review!
mm I know, I really do have a problem with neverending sentences :/

but I'm really happy that you liked the storyline and hope you'd like to continue reading :P

I am more than happy that you think the dialogue was good, I'm always very unsure about that...

I will try to find a beta as you said :)


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