Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jenna822 says:
Hello! Here with your review. :)
I review as I go then I'll go back at the end and touch on what you requested. First off, yay for more Founders and dark. I can't imagine how hard it was to write under such a strict word count! You're brave to even go for that. :) Now to get started.

Oh nice lead in with a canon wink. I like that. And you manage to really set the tone well with just the opening paragraph. I really like that you're painting the scene as the early stages of the school. And you've done great on that, making it flawed and still needing adjustment rather than all skipping-happy-perfect. One thing: Sir should be capitalized. :)

Awww! I love that you gave him such an affection for a daughter. That's really really awesome. So often he's painted as stone cold and harsh. But, I suppose that is exactly what you had in mind for the story, based on your summary. So: Mission Accomplished. I really like that. Just...yeah it was nice!

Okay, you mentioned thinking the flow was off because of the length. I can see why you'd go there. In a way, yeah the flow is a bit choppy, but then in another way, it fits. It gave the story a short and whimsical feel. I don't know if I'm explaining myself very well. It's meant to be praise. :) In regards to canon, it is hard to say exactly. Since we don't actually know how they were. A lot of people have things set in their mind on how the Founders should be, and it can be scary to go against that. Personally, I agree with your painting of Salazar. I mean, he did have kids, we know that. And he was friends with the other three before the falling out, so clearly he was a good man to some extent I can almost see his love for that adorable little girl as being the root cause for his later hatred.

Also, I love the name you gave her!

Can't really comment on the dialogue. What there was, was right. :P I really liked this. I wish there was more, honestly. I'll be coming back for the others for sure. :) --Jenna

Author's Response: It's funny, no one seems to think of Hogwarts in its early days! I, for one, can't imagine the school the Founders ran being anything like the one we know. That's probably why I find it so challenging: I'm daunted by all the changes. Sir now has a capital S, too.

That's an interesting point, that the flow works with the story. I was so focused on making it not-choppy that I didn't put a lot of thought into that. Usually my flow just comes out however I see it in my head. But that's a good point. I feel a bit better now. I won't stress about editing it. ;)

I've always wondered about Salazar, because he had such radical views and yet was clearly friends with the others. I picture him as quite friendly with everyone, except for blood status conversations.

I like the daughter's name too. It has a nice ring to it, but it's not exactly something that you would find nowadays.

Thanks for the review! It was extremely helpful.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 590
Submit Report: