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Review:huffleherbs says:
Your authors note has cleared up a couple of questions I had.

I know that they're speaking old French, but the dialogue still seems a bit too clunky and forced. By all means, don't colloquilise or modernise the language if you don't want to (in fact, I'd really recommend not "updating" it) but you might want to just read the dialogue aloud. It almost sounds as if you're trying to emulate the dialogue from the Dr Who episode. It's fine: but maybe consider getting a beta for the finer points like these.

I'm also slightly confused as to who these people are, I think you need to go into a bit more detail and background in the story. The prologue and the first chapter don't really link up, so maybe have another look at that.

It's a good fic overall but needs some minor editing. Look into getting a beta. Keep writing and resumbit for review when you have some more chapters!

Author's Response: I do have a beta and I asked her about this and she thinks that she may not have acutally gone over this so we plan on fixing that up very quickly.

Okay, I admit I didn't explain that- The prologue was ten years into the future for Chapter One. So yeah, I go backwards.

Thank you so much for taking your time to review.

x Ely


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