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Review:notreallyblonde44 says:
Hey Toujours Padfoot! At long last, I am here to review your submission! Thank you for being patient with me :) Like I've told everyone and wrote in the Challenge thread, I will review all the submissions and you are welcome to ignore or edit the submission from my suggestions. I will be re-reading all the submissions when it is time to judge them, so no worries there. Can't wait to dig into some Sloth ;)

'He tried to turn his head toward her, grunting with the exhaustion of it. His neck was lost somewhere under slabs of grotesque fat' -omg, ew! Between this and the glasses and the laziness, I want to vomit lol. BUT I mean this in the good way. Already I can tell that you have a great way of description and I can already sense the Sloth one a paragraph or two in. Lovely job already.

'a place Dudley had not visited in over three years' -oh wow, o.O that's VERY telling. Great showing versus telling here.

'A group of C-list celebrities were herded together in the same house, and he found pleasure in their drama and wild antics.' -This narration seemed more you than Dudley, while the rest of the piece was consistently Dudley...I feel like he would have known these people by name and been more invested than this statement shows.

Ohhh that last line/paragraph/ending! Brilliant. I wish I could say more about it to express how great and summed up it was. I totally believe this could happen to Dudley. While I'm borderline considering this piece to be more Gluttony than Sloth, I can definitely see how it could fit into either of those categories -and they really are often connected sins- I'm still leaning towards Gluttony since he was fixated on food. But he did totally ignore his wife in a very apathetic way *is torn* Feel free to PM me why you picked Sloth over Gluttony :P

Regardless, lovely one-shot! I think you should get a snazzy banner and besides what I wrote above, I have no major CC (trust me, this is not usual lol). I think you satisfied me as a reader with this piece. I felt so badly for Emma that must have been a difficult decision to finally make :/

Thanks for entering my challenge and I hope you enjoyed it!


Author's Response: Thank you! I enjoyed writing for this challenge, even though Dudley was kind of grossing me out. I will definitely PM you about why this is more sloth than gluttony. :)

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