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Review:libby103 says:
Hey!

So I'm a sucker for plots involving desperation, so I loved this, especially Scorpius's narrative. This was a little short, and I would've loved it even more if there was some memory or if something was added in the narrative explaining their break-up a little more-like what her reasons were and how she was doing after the break-up.

Your characters are all Next-Generation, so there's not any problems with your characterization. I would have preferred some more elaboration on Rose's character, as all we learn about her is that she broke up with Scorpius, nothing else. Umm, Albus and Rose are supposed to be close as cousins, I would've liked some interaction between the two of them or something like that. Scorpius's character was wonderful, I felt with him when he was screaming that he loved Rose to a random person on the street. That was a really good moment in my opinion.

Your writing style is great. I think that you conveyed Scorpius's emotions throughout the entire story perfectly. The flow during the transition between Scorpius thinking Rose still loved him and and him realizing she didn't was a bit rough, however. The beginning didn't really hook me in, but as I read on, I started to get really into it, Scorpius's thoughts were great and enthralling, especially the last few lines of course.

Overall, great story. Narrative is wonderful.

from,
Liberty (Libby103)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it :)

I decided to keep this focused on Scorpius which is why there is hardly any information about Rose. That is also why I didn't include the reason for Rose breaking up with Scorpius.

Thanks again!

-Sophia x


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