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Review:CharlieDay says:
Hello, it is me, Charlie here to review your challenge story.
Plot:
It was a good plot, in my opinion. It did not just show Sirius' feelings for Kristi but also what was going on in the world around him. I think this is a good thing because it gives you a more rounded veiw of the Mauraders' life at that time. I also think that it was a good explaination of why Sirius never really had a serious romance as far as the Published world of Harry Potter streches. I was a little confused about the time and what was going on but other than that the plot was very good so i will give you a 4/5 on plot.
Punctuation, grammar typos etc.:
This was also all in all very good, there are a few sentances that could have been done better for example the sentance 'was i not good enough' may have been easier to read if you put it as 'wasn't i good enough'. The flow and sentance structure was very good though so for Grammar, punctuation typos etc. I will give you 3/5.
That totals up to 7/10 which is a very good score (because i am mean and hardly ever give 10/10s)
thank you for entering my challenge,
Charlie.

Author's Response: hey thank you for the review! I really had a lot of fun writing this for your challenge and now i just have to wait a while before i can find out if i did it well enough to place in your challenge. Even if i didnt place i'm really excited to have something posted and to have given a oneshot a chance. The idea came for it right after you gave me my person and important moment and it just evolved from there. I'm really glad you liked it and that you liked that i didnt just focus on Sirius and Kristi.

Thank you for reading and reviewing! Cant wait to see how the rest of your challenge goes!

~Slytherinchica08~


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