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Review:maskedmuggle says:
Hey! :)
First off, I want to apologise for getting this review to you like, 2 weeks late :( I'm so sorry I took so long!

This was a lovely fic! :) Lily/Snape is a bit tricky to write, but you did it really well here, Snape's feelings really got across. Lily and James' emotions were also really well conveyed.

I loved the beginning! Typical James/Lily :P Ooh, what struck me about your piece was the writing - you wrote it in present tense! Something that's really hard, so I applaud you for that! You did a really good job! The dialogue was good, as well as the action and description.

Nice characterisation - Lily, James and Snape all seemed very in character. The dialogue was very realistic.

I'm a bit confused as to what Sev wanted to show Lily - what was behind the door? I'm a bit curious XD

Your writing is fairly good, but you could try developing complexity and more description into it - you have a lot of potential! All in all though, a very nice fic! It was quite enjoyable to read! Thank you for participating in my challenge! :D And once again, terribly sorry for the ridiculously delayed review.
- Charlotte

Author's Response: Thank youfor the review and for the challenge! Im really happy that you thought the dialogue was realistic as its one of my biggest problems.

haha I find kind of amusing that this story turned out to float on the surface as most of my stories always are a bit too complex and littered with descriptions, so you're most likely going to see that in the following chapters (if you continue reading)


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