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Review:Coley says:
Yet another review! I do hope you are enjoying receiving your gift as much as I am giving it to you :) I really do enjoy your pieces, they're good reads that, well for me, leave me wanting to write more myself. OK, onto the review.

Although these types of stories aren't my cup of tea, you seem to have made it work for your piece. I really liked the natural flow of dialogue that you had going on, it didn't seem flat or staged, it flowed well and had a natural tone to it. With the use of this dialogue it seemed to flow well with the rest of this chapter, which, in turn, made the whole piece flow well.

However, this piece did seem slightly rushed and at some point seemed a little flat and cliche, I think that maybe by making some more original plot lines and adding more description would make it more original and therefore open it up to a wider audience.

I did like the little jab at Peter with the acting, it's how i thought Peter would have been treated within the Marauders and had be giggling a little.

Overall, although it wasn't my cup of tea, I can see that you tried to make it original and it flowed well nicely. I really hope you don't take this too harshly. :D

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