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Review:The Captain says:
I adore your plot so far, and your story is a definite favorite. Although, you might want to break up your chapters into more, shorter chapters. Even the best of stories can get a bit tiring when the chapters are long.
Other than that, there's really nothing you should change, so I just wanted to bring up a few typos and points of clarification.
First, when Hae-Won is racing her sister it says "the time it took the high school to scramble for it" when her sister loses her shoe. Also, you might want to change your phrasing when their mother gives her presentation. There's a line where she talks about how difficult it is to move around in the North which isn't as easy as "just moving from Seoul to here in Jeonju". I was confused for a while since Seoul is in South Korea, and the way the sentence read it sounded like Seoul was in the North. In another sentence you're missing a couple words "While Hae-won had been hearing all about human rights violations in the North since kindergarten, her mother had always worried her classmates might not ". "her shorts usually showed a little too much over her legs" should be of her legs. Finally, you've got a double any in a sentence. "it wasn't like anyany sort of jewelry Hae-won"
Please keep writing!

Author's Response: Yes, I handed this over to a second beta, and the new version should be up in a few days. I hope you'll take a look at it then!

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