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Review:The Captain says:
Hi! I thought your characterization of Lily was fine, however I did have one problem with the story. Lily thought that Derek was the same age as her, yet she didn't know him. I found this a little hard to believe, as if they were in the same year they would have had classes together for years. Maybe they wouldn't be friends, but Lily would probably know his name. She seems to me like the kind of person who would pay attention to the people around her. I would have liked a little more explanation on Derek's background and how he was a stranger to her. I think you could have their conversation before he asks her out go on for a little bit longer, so they can find out more about each other first.
Also, when Derek first appeared, I did catch a typo. "when I a boy" This was in Lily's description of his arrival.

Author's Response: Hi thanks for the review! Yes, I see how that's unclear. I made him a seventh year in a different house and her a sixth year so I hope that clears it up. I'll look back and try to fix up that bit. I made Quinn a sort of impulsive character. Also, in this piece, both Quinn and Lily are not exactly feeling themselves because they're alone for Valentine's Day, that's why I made Lily more willing to give things with Quinn a shot. I'll be sure to go in and fix that typo! Thanks again!

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