Hello, gingersnape here with a requested review for you! (My queue is going to be all out of order tonight, so I figured I would just give you Chapter 3's review while I'm here on your very lovely page! :D)
Alrighty, before I pretend to be all serious, I have a few wee tangent-ey comments. One) My entry for your challenge is going well, i think! I've started three different stories, and haven't narrowed down which one I'll use as they're all plunnie-ettes right now, but I just wanted to let you know how glad I am that I joined it! :) Two) Please let me know whenever Chapter 4 of Thorn is up so I can take a peeksies at it for ya! :D Three) I like your Chapter Image! :D
Alright, now to the review part of the review! :D So, the first little bit was really interesting because it made me think about how Scorpius had taken it, and although ti took me awhile to figure out who was talking, i really liked how you showed his father's opinion in there and the internal battle he was having about Kate.
The notes made me smile, with the little bits about how they still hated each other. It was nice to see that he had a heart, and he seems to be warming up to her at a believable speed, since it isn't happening really slowly, but it's not like *POOF* they're best friends, which is pretty awesome since the timing on this kind of thing can often be difficult to get right.
Alright, I have a few things I love in stories (games meant for players to defeat themselves, plots based on conspiracies and lies, stories with no good guys, etc.) and one of my favorites of the favorites is the powerful connection between smell and memory. Havibng her mention her pear tree and how he smelled like something that she associated as being a place of comfort and safety and then it got me thinking about how they were clashing ideas; it was brilliant. Maybe not the biggest note of the chapter, but certainly my favorite because it just added another level to the relationship she and Scorpius have and how those two conflicting ideas of friendship and comfort and cruel heartnedness and pain can be combined into one thing and it just felt like it really described the relationship they have. (That was probably one massive run-on sentence, but it was really something that spoke to me when I was reading it and has kept me thinking since reading that.
Although I really liked how he had that connection to her through his aftershave, I wasn't as sure about how he told her that she wasn't his equal. It felt like a huge jump and as though Scorpius' emotions were all over the place. Maybe if there was a loner explanation of the differences between the "I want to be frienemies" and then the "I don't even think you and I are on the same level and think you are below me as a human being because of your blood and don't want to change how I think, really." I like how they have that shifting in how everything works, but maybe adding in a bit more to is would be a good way to show why they have this changing mood, especially since Kate's reaction to having him so close was so interesting!
Oh, and not to mention that he's adorable when he's thinking about her, so I just want to see how that goes, and even if it's an excuse, the differences in how he acts around Kate is really intriguing, so keep up the good work and please let me know when Chapter 4 is up! :D
Have a great plunnie filled day,
Author's Response: One thing I've always loved in stories is notes between characters. It just reveals so much about them!
The sense of smell is so incredibly powerful! For example, smelling a free sample of perfume I have reminds me of my first Sadie Hawkins dance, because my date gave me a corsage made out of gardenias, which I plan on having at my wedding. So powerful!
I think (Oh, isn't that scary? The author doesn't even know!) Scorpius told her she isn't his equal because he's getting frustrated. I hope it'll be a little clearer in chapter 4.
Aww, he's just a little cutie-patootie. :P