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Review:The Captain says:
Watch out, Hugo. You don't want to get addicted. Another great chapter! Your plot and characterization are excellent so far, although Ron is a little harsh still in my opinion.
I did notice one line where you might want to change your phrasing. "Mrs Van Der Rich was actually a poor old woman, contrary to her name, and a widower left with lots of money from her late husband." The way this currently reads is slightly confusing. You go on to clarify it in the next line, but I stopped to re-read this one a couple times first. You might want to change it to "a widower who had been left" instead. Just a minor point, but it should be Mrs. Van Der Rich, with a period after Mrs.

Author's Response: Hehe, you'll have to wait and see what happens I suppose! I'm glad you like the plot and characterisation, making my characters as real as possible has always been fun for me :)

Also merci for pointing that out - I'll get to changing it. Thanks for reviewing!


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