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Review:LovelyMioneWeasley says:

You said this was a rough chapter!?!/ If this has "a lot of room for improvement" then can I have those chapters of yours!?!? Because I couldn't find nearly anything wrong with this chapter!

First off, I loved Dollie's cute little nervous habits as she was preparing for her lesson with Remus last time; it was glad to see the spontaneous lesson. It seemed to go well for both of their nerves.

The nightmare was totally scary but really believable. I really liked your usage of the door as a metaphor. I think would could have taken in to a whole nother level (or in the future) is using the threshhold. This is an interesting dynamic that I am curious to how would play into the dream. An open door, an open threshhold to make some interesting choices. Just a dynamic to consider, if you even continue to add to her dream.

Remus and Dollie's scene was very fulfilling in this chapter. The playful nature you gave them as they wrestled in the leaves and grass was brilliant. I love your romantic scenes--they aren't even romantic as much as just purely satisfying.

You do an excellent job creating the scenes as well. You don't get wordy but you give the reader enough descriptions to envision what you see in your own imagination. My mind has no problem coming up with movie like pictures from your story.

Your dialogue was sweet and totally perfect. I could see the give and take during Dollie and Remus' conversation. Your imagery was also fantastic; I loved the candle right after her nightmare as well as the natural descriptions! Good job, hun.

Lindsey xox

Author's Response: Lindsey!

It totally was! I remember struggling with it quite a bit, especially with the second half. I've forgotten how many rewrites and edits this went through before I was even half-satisfied with it.

Ah, the nightmare. It was actually based on a real nightmare I had. The ending and my reaction to the dream mirrors Dollie's. I think you're the first reviewer to mention it and examine its meaning because it is a particularly important bit of foreshadowing, both metaphorically and literally. I'll definitely take into account your advise if I should ever add any more dreams though I've heard dreams can be cliche (O.o).

You really think so? Thank you so much! I was worried the scene could come across as cheesy when I was really going for something Bollywood-esque, if that makes sense. As badly as I treat them sometimes, I do like to give them cute moments to savour every now and then. ;)

Double-Yay! I have a soft spot for dialogue while description and I don't always get along so it is truly wonderful that you liked both =). A million xoxo's, Lindsey dear!


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