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Review:GubraithianFire says:
This makes me cry and smile, even after so long, and I'm sorry that I didn't come back to tell you so sooner and - gah, I don't know why you cringe to read this because it's so beautiful. I saw someone - Ash, I think - say that this was like breathing, and it's true. It's got that gorgeous, gorgeous flow and it doesn't seem difficult to do, but I know it is. You send me into a trance and although I'm aware of my surroundings (my super messy room, Hans Zimmer Pandora station blaring in the background), it's like... I don't want to be. I want to live in this world.

You kept saying that the style wasn't consistent with the other chapters, but I didn't see that. Maybe when I come back to this (I will always come back) I'll see it more, or maybe you've edited since, but this just flowed so fantastically and it didn't seem forced at all. It was just... ugh, I don't even know how to say it. It didn't feel like a short story, if that makes sense; it was segmented but it didn't feel chaptered. It felt more like a collection of short stories/drabbles to me, but that's probably a result of the trance and how utterly oblivious I usually am when I read. It was just this, like, onslaught of prettiness and sweetness.

Speaking of sweetness - you know I'm an awful cynic and that cute things usually make me want to squee and puke. But this particular story - and you - is remarkable because I don't even want to puke. It's the cuteness that I can't fault, the prettiness that doesn't make me want to insert a character death to make up for it. It's perfection, yes, but in a different way, an endearing way instead of an alienating one. I feel like this could happen in the postwar Potterverse because these two deserve it and it makes me genuinely happy, not grudgingly I can't help myself happy. If that makes sense.

And I'm glad you ended it here, by the way. For one thing, I like nice numbers, like five. For another, it's just... the way you ended it. I had a feeling "one day" would come back, but that didn't take away from the magic of their relationship and how well they know each other (that phrase from an earlier chapter - they knew each other inside-out and upside-down but not backwards, not yet - God, that was perfect) and how much I didn't want to read more of this. Because I don't want to see them fall into hardship or unhappiness or discontent. I want them preserved in this moment - this "one day," as it were - and I want them to be happy always.

Love you.

Author's Response: You make me cry and smile - this review did so, at the very least. I'm however being very good and trying to clear out my unanswered reviews which has left me with this beauty and Marina's. I hate replying to reviews on this story because they're always too nice.

I cringe because it's my writing and we're all the same when we read something back. I do completely understand what you mean though. When I wrote every chapter of this, it was in a completely still, silent house and for that first chapter, I got lost in it. If I can make the readers feel the same way, I'm doing something right, I think.

It's funny. Sometimes I think they're fine, sometimes I think they stick out like five broken fingers. I wouldn't say I've ever really, really forced it (you'd know if I had) but certainly when I wrote them, my mindset was slightly different each time and I never read back over the previous chapter(s) to help me. Also, nope, haven't edited. Editing scares me.

It is definitely more of a collection of short stories than a short story itself. Snapshots is the word I use - little fly-on-the-wall glances at this couple. I imagine it to be like in The Edge of Reason where Bridget and/or Mark are walking through London and it shows you all these couples in their windows. That's what I see when I write this. In my head, I'm peering through an open window watching these two live and noting down what I would put in their heads.

You are a dreadful cynic and that's why every bit of feedback you give on this makes me die. I'm not the world's biggest romantic but there's a part of this that I think must come from some hidden part of me; it's innocent and simple, or that's what I want it to be.

Oh you have no idea how close I was to killing Dean off...I seriously did consider it and started writing the chapter before thinking how ridiculous I was being and writing 'Time' instead. They do deserve it, so so much and I parallel that idea in their relationship in 'If Tomorrow Never Comes' which if you take away the first chapter of this, could be a prequel to this. I absolutely adore them together and I like to think they fixed each other.

I like five a lot. It was four, which was okay, before I wrote #2 for the writathon and put it in. That's the least similar in style of the five, definitely.

Of course one day was going to come back. I didn't expect it to be like this but there we have it; who am I to argue with my imagination? (Love that line...one of the ones I can quote from memory).

I don't think they'll ever lose their love for each other. Ever. Of course they'll argue and fight and have their moments but I want these two to be together until their dying days and beyond.

You completely floored me with this review. I'm so, so beyond grateful that it's almost impossible to describe.

Love you too.

♥
xx

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