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Review:inspiredl says:
Heyy, InspiredL here from the forums with your rewiew (I know what you're thinking, wow I was fast getting this to you wasn't I? :P)

Ok, first of all let me just go 'AW!!' like I was all the way through reading this! Hehe, seriously, it was one of the sweetest things I've ever read, ever! :)

You're writing style if perfect, spelling and grammar are spot on, as is word usage. The whole thing flowed wonderfully and was very very easy to read because I was completely sucked in by it! I had one piece of CC... near the end you write "he could only hope that he didnít hate her for it." I'm pretty sure that this is a bit of a typo and that you mean "she didn't hate him for it." Not a biggy, just thought I should let you know! :)

The characterisation of all the children was perfect! Pertunia was the annoying, stormy offy, younger sister. Lily was sweet but slightly bossy and just how I would have imagined a young Lily to be. Snape was a bit odd and was completely in love with Lily. I also loved his back story and it was soo sad how his dad was like a drunk and stuff...

The things they said seemed just right for young kids and it was hilariously how seriously they all took the marriage. Also the conversation between Severus and Lily about kissing and babies made me laugh :)

The idea was really sweet and it made me so sad at the end to think of little Lily outside in the cold waiting for Severus and him being locked up and not able to get to her!

There was not one thing I would have changed in this story! It was absolutely amazing and a joy to read. I like it so much I have added it to my favourites!

Thanks so much for requesting a review! I hope this is good!

10/10
Lily ^_^

Author's Response: Wowzers. What a whopper of a review.

Thanks so much for all your lovely compliments. many of the reasons you like the story were what I was going for. I tried to think back to my days on the jungle gym during recess where we used to play around with such nonsense. Unfortunately, it was harder to write about Severus' more difficult life at home. I myself, thank goodness, never had to experience something like that.

There are still some grammar mistakes floating around in this story, haven't had it beta'd yet, but its a good reason to go in and tweak!!

I really appreciate the review and your thoughtful comments. Take care!


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