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Review:notreallyblonde44 says:
Hi maskedmuggle! It's certainly taken me long enough to get to this review, so let's have at it and hopefully the CC will make up for my slowness ;)

'I know only that those questions are irrelevant, even if I have no answers.'-This confuses me. If the questions were truly irrelevant, why would they have been implied at all? And how would he know that he shouldn't know? Lol

'I don't know how long I run, and at the risk of being cliche,' -Ran not run. Also, your character realizes that he could possibly be cliche? That seems odd to me o.O Otherwise, at this moment, the tension was mounting and the suspense was building and progressing nicely.

When the location is revealed it made me really think about who this character could be (of course I already looked at the end to find out haha, but) I came up with many possibilities and I think not giving it away really added a fun dimension to your one-shot in terms of mystery.

'But I do. I am scared of losing control.'-If this truly is occurring in a dream, I'm not sure if I buy the realization James has here. Hmm I like that his character is building built on mystery and he slowly reveals himself to us with his feelings in the dream, especially the aspect about exploring fear, yet I guess I've never come to such an interesting realization about my personal character while in my dreams (afterwards sure) so I guess I'm a skeptic about this line for that biased reason.

'Somehow, I know that it will be blue, and it will be a Ford Anglia.' -I enjoyed how you explored this aspect of dreaming. For some reason I always think of what I know something's going to be before it happens, always creepy but there is still limited control. Nice job here!

Pureblood?

'I do not know how I can drive, but I must be, because the car is moving.'- haha

'and the human stumbles'-what human?

'Ginny strokes my head,'-it's in his POV, would he really call his mum Ginny?

Besides what I have written above, I really enjoyed how you explored dreaming and illness/fever dreaming. When you are sick, dreams tend to get wackier, I don't know why haha. I enjoyed how you built up the story and revealed the character at the end. I thought these were creative approaches. You didn't make a large number of surfaces errors and that's always something to be proud of :) Some bits sounded awkward, most of them I've hinted at above, but otherwise I think you have a good set of skills in writing. I liked the action verbs, they helped with the overall suspense. I say not bad, especially for this being out of your comfort zone! The aspect of the story that I liked the most I think was having James embedded in his family's history and even a bit scared of what awaits him at Hogwarts for his first year. Some parts didn't sound 11, but it worked for the most part. Don't be so harsh on yourself :P (reference to your A/N)

Hope this helped and good luck in future endeavors!
Best,
nrb

Author's Response: Hello! :)

Don't even worry about it, I know how tough real life can get sometimes, and I just appreciate you making the effort to review this at all.

I definitely needed this constructive criticism, so thank you for pointing out each mistake. You bring up some very good points, and some parts are definitely odd and don't really make full sense. :P

Awh, thank you so much. The main thing that bothers me about this piece is that the writing sounds awkward, and so far, mostly everyone agrees, so it's definitely something I'll be working on to improve.

Thank you very much for the kind review and the helpful criticism! I really am grateful, and I hope you know that.

- maskedmuggle / Charlotte :)

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