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Review:The Captain says:
Yay! I was super excited when you requested a review since I haven't gotten to review many comedies, and I think you're brilliant.
I also happen to be a spelling and grammar freak, and you asked for it, so I did find a couple tiny errors. Error #1: "it had a little bell around it's neck" Wrong its. Also, I'm curious, does the chocolate rabbit have a real bell around its neck, or is it a chocolate bell? Not that that matters at all. It's chocolate and I'm curious.
Error #2: "See, her chest it moving". Of course, Albus could have a bit of caveman in him, but I'm going to guess you meant for this to read "is moving".
I think your portrayal of icy Albus is great. I've seen happy Al, funny Al, skanky Al, emo Al, and every combination of those 4 that you could possibly imagine (except happy emo. How would that work out?) , but I don't think I've seen icy Al yet.
Pippa's funny, but there's more to her, which we saw when she was describing icy Al.
Thanks for the request!

Author's Response: I love writing comedies! :D I'm so glad!

Thanks, I changed that! It's a real bell! I actually based the description on a real life chocolate. It's Lindt ;D It's amazing & I was eating it at the same time as I was writing this.

I changed that too! Thanks for pointing that out.

Haha, I'm glad you like Icy Al, it works so well for the story :) Haha, happy emo wouldn't quite work would it! :P

Yeah, she has more sides to her :) But this side worked for the indroduction.

Thanks so much for the review.

- Keely.
xoxoxo


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