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Review:lia_2390 says:
Hey Ciara!

I really enjoyed this chapter, much more than the first. You pull off present tense, third person very well. I really like the setting of this story, Fanfiction Noir. I'm not sure if I mentioned this to you before but it really suits these characters, especially Draco. The dark and shady aspects of it allows him to blend in easily considering his background. Anyone else would stick out like a sore thumb.

I like the idea of using his excerpts to give a bit of background of the Wizarding World during this time. You've given the politicians and rich men a rather realistic stance too - they try to present respectable faces to the world but behind closed doors, they're part of members only clubs.

Draco and Pansy's relationship, as dark and complicated as it is, would be interesting to see. The way they talk to each other sometimes really makes me laugh. You've captured them here in an interesting light.

"If there's ever been an innocent freckle on you, Pansy, it was gone by the time you learned to speak." - This line made my night!

I'm also glad that you've made use of the other Slytherin minor characters we really don't hear about.

All in all, I think you did a really great job with this!

Lia

Author's Response: Hello dear!
To be honest I am always having to double check that I haven't drifted into past tense. It's very strange to write present tense from a third person POV, but I chose it because I think present tense gives it more of that forward-moving, film sort of feel. In a movie you can't be drifting along in the past, you only see what is in front of you.

The excerpts originally stemmed from the very common theme in crime drama which is to have the detective/protagonist/what have you narrating the story. Since I was writing in third person I couldn't do that, but using Draco's POV to explain the background of the situation lends it a little more intimacy, I think. Draco is really explaining to the reader what has happened to his world.

The reason I chose Draco and Pansy for this venture, when I knew I wanted to write something like this, was for Pansy. She fits so perfectly with my idea of a Noir heroine- shady motivations, a balance of a good side and a dark side, the kind of woman you want to trust but never quite can.

As for the minor characters, some of them are just giving clues as to the Dynasty's true origin, some of them will reappear later on, and some of them I just threw in for fun. :]

Thank you so much!!!


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