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Review:ciararose says:
Hello! First of all let me just say how much I appreciate that your grammar, spelling, and punctuation are all fine. I know that sounds weird, but to be honest, there is nothing so distracting from a story than to be seeing mistakes all over the place. And you would not believe how common it is.

Second of all, I like the atmosphere you've set up in this story. Anyone who has been to a party with a cute boy knows what this feels like- the uncertainty, the wondering what will happen, the silly games. It's quite well written here, and the dialogue suits that scenario.

The only critique I have, and I mean this in the friendliest way, is that I feel like as a one-shot, parts of the characterization was a little surprising. I think you could have taken a little more time to explore it. We know Hermione acts out of character because she has been drinking, but I was still missing a little bit of that conflict, that oh-no-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this thinking. That being said, the pacing and the flow of the story was really coherent and clear.

All in all, nicely done :]

Author's Response: Thank You Ciara I'm glad you decided to read it!

I was a little worried about the characterization and how it would come across actually. If I'd of had more time when I wrote this I might have made it a short story so that I could have had Hermione's conscience play a part. I did try to bring that in but I couldn't get it right, it broke the flow of the story.

Phew I'm glad about the grammar bit, I can be a bit slack with proof reading sometimes.

Thanks for the review :)


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