Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jane_Volturi says:
Hi schoenemaedchen

First of all I would like to apologise for not getting this review to you sooner; I've been so busy with real life these past few months that it's been hard for me to find enough time to read this story.

I will admit, my initial reaction to first seeing the title of this story wasn't an overly enthusiastic one, but now that I've actually read the story, I realise that I completely underestimated the significance that it holds to the tale. I marvel at how cleverly you converted the representation of this emerald brooch from something so pretty and childlike into something a lot more grave and serious.

I'll begin with the general concept of this story. I've always thought that there is a lot of potential material with the Lily/Snape ship, but it's very rare that I ever come across a story involving it that I actually enjoy reading. The usual mistake that people often tend to make is instigated by their misjudgement of Snape's character. They either fail to comprehend his deep love for Lily, or they otherwise make him out to be far too cold and boring. You've hit the nail on the head with his character, no question about it, so kudos for that.

You also characterized Lily and Petunia very well. They almost mirrored the characters in the first few scenes in the chapter entitled 'Snape's Memory' in the seventh book. Lily, in my view, has always been a highly intelligent girl, but sweet and sensetive at the same time and I think that you did a very thorough job of depicting this. I also think you handled Petunia's character brilliantly. Everything from her lack of patience for Snape and Lily to her bossy demeanour was very accurate and precise.

I'm also delighted that you chose to include Snape's parents in this. You have no idea how infuriated I get when I read story after story about Snape, where his parents always go without a mention. I think you characterized Tobias and Eileen well; their arguing added a more sinister tone to the atmosphere and re-established the idea that Lily was perhaps the only joyful element to Severus's life, which of course urges the reader to feel a great deal of sympathy for Severus - so well done for managing to convey that emotion through your writing.

There were a few gramattical errors that I picked up on however:

1. '...Lily was suddenly aware AT how intently Severus stared at her...' should be '...Lily was suddenly aware OF how intently Severus stared at her...'

2. '...He felt her FROZE under the kiss initially...' should be '...He felt her FREEZE under the kiss initially...'

3. '...but THEM quickly relax when she realized it wasnít so bad after all...' should be '...but THEN quickly relax when she realized it wasnít so bad after all...'

Your writing is pure prose; it isn't just a random, unstructured scribble of thought. I also really enjoyed the structure of the storyline; the last part was unexpected, but it rounded the story off in a very sweet way, as though the storm raging outside was reminding Lily of a distant memory. It was very relevant taking into consideration how Lily and Severus's relationship ended in her fifth year, and I think it would be right to assume that she wouldn't have forgotten him, even after she'd married and had James's child.

A very sweet story. I really enjoyed reading this.


Author's Response: This review is absolutely amazing--

Not just saying that because it was positive in my favor, but I really see you've put a lot of thought into it. I really appreciate it, and I don't mind at all that it took you a while to get to it *peers towards her tardiness in her own queue*...

Thanks so much for taking the time. I appreciate it so much and I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 343
Submit Report: