Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Jane_Volturi says:
Hi Akussa

It's JaneTwilight here from the forums. First of all I'd like to apologise for not getting this review to you sooner; I've been really busy this past month with real life, so it's been difficult for me to find enough time to read this lovely one shot of yours.

I'll begin with the dynamics of the Prewett family as that seems to be the most significant element in this story. You've provided the readers with a very thorough depiction of each of the family members; it's nice to see that there are similarities and contrasts between each character, it's adds a new dimension to the family that really succeeds in steering away from any unecessary cliches. I like the fact that the three siblings are united against their mother and her 'ideas' for their future lives. I don't think I've ever come across a Prewett story where Molly's parents try to set her up with 'respectable' purebloods. People tend to assume that because Molly is such a kind-hearted woman, it's perfectly excusable to ignore the obvious fact that she has decended from a pureblood family who are bound to be atleast a little bit prejudice so kudos for bearing that in mind.

Your characterization of Molly and Arthur were both nicely done; I don't have any complaints about either of them. Bill - or Billy even - was adorable, I don't have any complaints about him either (how could I?).

There is however one niggling thing that I feel the need to mention. At the beginning of the story, there's this heavy issue with the Prewett siblings and their mother's high expectations for them. Then however, the story changes to Fabian the family man and I think the flow is interrupted. Nothing ties in at the end and it's hard for me to fully figure out exactly what the purpose of this story is. I know that the general idea is the Prewett's emancipation but for me I don't think you fully got that idea across. I can't put my finger on exactly why, perhaps it's because you've concentrated more on Fabian and Molly rather than Gideon, I just get the feeling that his side of the story remains unresolved.

Your writing was, for the lack of a better word, perfect. I have a sharp eye when it comes to spotting any grammatical flaws and as of yet I have found none in this story. You applied a great consistency of description to your writing and I really enjoyed the composition and flow that your words had.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story; it was a well-written piece with an excellent storyline.

Katie (JaneTwilight)

Author's Response: Thank you very much for sur a great and helpful review. I'm happy you enjoyed this piece and really apreciate all your nice comments about it.
I have to say that I fully agree with your misunderstanding; the storyline of Fabian's emancipation is interrupted when it comes to dealing with his parents and their "ideas". At the time, I didn't really know how to incorporate that into the story but as time went on, I realized I could simply add another chapter to this story and this is what i am doing at the moment; trying to close the circle of Fabian (and Gideon too)' s emancipation from their parents' beliefs and plans. When it's done, I would really love to send it to you and see if you consider I achieved my goal!

Once again thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read this piece.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 453
Submit Report: