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Review:baletgir says:
I love the differences in the two characters that you point out almost immediately. Sometimes when people write a (possibly) non-canon ship they try to force the two characters to be extremely similar, thus making them OOC, but you didn’t! And yay for that! I loved the way you wrote them, and all the detail you included at the very beginning. It was a very nice way to start and did not feel at all forced. The way you described some things was perfect.

For example:
“Dean’s forehead crinkled up like discarded wrapping paper.”

That really made me smile, I could picture it so clearly and there is simply no other way to describe it.

A few (and I really only mean 2 or 3) of your sentences here and there were a bit off. I was able to understand what you were going for in meaning, but I couldn’t exactly follow the wording of it. I feel as if they were okay sentences, but you could have fixed them a bit to make them a little less awkward. I think it was partly comma usage that made them confusing.

I think that writing Luna/Dean in your summary is a bit of false advertising. I do think they could make a good/believable ship during DH, but I don’t think that came through enough for this to be labeled that way. Just a thought.

On another note, I really do see this as a missing moment, I think you pretty much nailed Luna. And I don’t think Dean was far off himself, though, honestly there wasn’t much of him to be able to tell one way or another. I reallyed enjoyed reading this, and I cannot wait to read some more of your fanfic pieces!
Great job! And Happy Holidays!
:)BaletGir

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