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Review:leaney says:
Leaney again!

I decided to review Chapter 3 to give you some variety and since it's your most current chapter. The flow and the grammar are a little rougher in this chapter. Your commas and punctuation are a little off. Not to worry though, this is easily fixed and isn't too big of a deal! I stand by what I said in your first review. Though I get a better sense of who Molly is and what she's doing on the outside (as well as everyone else's perception of her), I don't really feel like I get to know what's really going on inside of Molly's head. She seems to react so generally to everything. Like whenever Rose gets upset with her and decides they can't be friends. She doesn't seem to really react at all. Though their relationship doesn't exactly seem perfect to begin with, I felt there should've been something more emotionally. A teeny bit more description would help develop the story as a whole and really improve the flow as well. Again, I'm insanely in love with the storyline. I like how adventurous Molly seems. I find myself really drawn to Molly's interaction with Simon. I found their sex scene really funny and adorable. Oh, and I like the last sentence too! What a rebel! I can't wait to see...well read about...everyone's reactions to her lingerie (especially Jozlin's)! Overall, I really like this story. It's original and your characters seem really fun. It's such an enjoyable read and I know that you can really turn it into something even better than it already is! Keep up the good work and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day!


Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I know I rush and need to explain the characters more! I will be sure to work on that, so when the querie opens again they will be ready to be validated =)

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