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Review:Akussa says:
Beautifully moving story. I absolutely loved it on every aspect I can think of;

1) your characterization is perfect; I especially liked how you grasped Neville's very special maturity and how he looks at the world around him. The way you presented his grandmother was also very well done; the explanation Neville gives as to how she is the way she is, is believable and touching. I have to say I really loved Alice. She is a tough character to write considering her situation but you came through strongly.

2) the flow is quiet and even; much like the boy you chose as a main character and narrator. It is but a small moment in his life but one that would have immense repercussions in his life.

3) well written with a clean grammar; really, nothing to say here. You make a great use of a large and original vocabulary which gives this story an even stronger quality.

I really loved this little piece. I would have loved for it to go on longer but I also felt like this was just enough; just enough to let your self get wrapped up in the emotion and keep on thinking about it for a while longer.

Akussa S.S.

Author's Response: Hello again :) Thank you for this wonderful review. Neville is one of my absolute favourite characters, so the fact that you thought I captured how he sees the world means a lot to him.

I guess that is why we like writing/reading fanfiction - it enables us to delve into the reasons perhaps why characters are like they are, so thank you for bringing that up.

I try to keep my grammar clean, but mistakes always slip through. I'm glad to hear this piece was okay in the main though.

As for length - I was considering Neville having a similar moment with his father, as it is a bit strange he doesn't speak to him that much, but I thought perhaps it would be too much of a repetition ;) But I'm really pleased you thought the length was okay, and I suppose wanting it to go on for longer is a good thing!

Thank you so so much. It was really lovely of you to say that this piece is moving, that means a lot. Thank you for this wonderful and detailed review!
TallestTower


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