Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:maskedmuggle says:
Well, this was certainly another interesting chapter!
That's the first thing I thought of as I finished.

The second was, that was awfully long. I'm a bit mixed up about the length. On the one hand, I could read more, and the intermission was great, but it felt like it was dragging a bit. On the other hand, a lot happened in this story, and some parts of it might have had more impact if it was split into two. Nevertheless, I got through it, and I did enjoy reading it.

Your story and the way they connect to the lyrics really is clever. Your story seems so very well planned, with all the Indian things mentioned.. the places mentioned that are Indian-sounding… are they real places?

I thought in this part here, "Suddenly she grabbed his arm, yanked him into the noisy pub and dragged him straight to the back. She flung open the door of the men's toilet, and they tumbled inside… Luna's kisses smoldering down his neck." Luna sounded VERY out of character, but she is an adult, so she might have changed. It still feels a little out of character. Maybe Rolf was the one who, "grabbed her arm", "yanked her in", "dragged her", "flung open the door", etc? By the way, the words you've chosen really show the intense emotion. Grabbed, yanked, dragged, flung… really powerful words.

Overall, it was an enjoyable, interesting, original, very well written and detailed fic, where the unexpected keeps happening. I'm really curious to find out who those men are, and what/if Kanwal is hiding anything! And what's going to happen the very next day - so please update soon! :)

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 593
Submit Report: