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Review:TallestTower says:
Hello! It's Broomsticks from the forums with your review. I'm really sorry about the long time it took me to leave this :(

I thought the introduction was really good, it was a canon moment if you know what I mean, so it was easy for the reader to understand where he was and who he was. The excitement/action of him drowning was an attention grabbing start. I thought his panic and the way as he became weaker he struggled less (before the voice) was believable. Maybe the handsome eyebrow furrowing was a bit too far? I know he is supposed to be a charming man, it just seemed a little out of place.

I really loved your description of everything. You managed to keep the story exciting and full of life all the way through. You described Regulus' emotions and surroundings really well, it was very vivid ;)

I liked Feliciti's sweet/innocent/fury situation, it added a kind of comical tone :) One thing I would say about her speech is that she said "Regulus" a lot, in most sentances. I know she was supposed to be dead, so fair enough for being a bit formal and weird, but I find that when speaking to someone (especially if it's just you and the person) you don't actually say their name that often, not if you have their attention, so maybe watch out for that :)

The memory trip flowed really smoothly and wasn't confusing. I liked it when Regulus said “Mummy said we're not supposed to talk to muggles!” His relationship with Sirius, the kind of whiny-but-don't-want-to-leave-my-brother scenario (whew, mouthful) was really realistic.

I like how you mentioned in the beginning that Regulus had done a lot of wrong things, and then it tied in nicely with the end when we realize he is going to go back and revisit his wrongs (I think?).

So all in all a good introduction chapter to the story, and it the pace was really good, I didn't feel like it dragged at all.

I hope this feedback helped a little :) Sorry again for the lateness!
~Tallesttower/Broomsticks

Author's Response: Hi there, I apologise most sincerely for not replying when I got this. I hadn't come back onto this site in 2 years and have only started getting things together on it now!

The reason why Feli says 'Regulus' a lot is (it was clear in my mind :P) because it keeps him there, it keeps him conscious and alert.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to leave this review and I'M sorry for the lateness!!


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