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Review:Elysium says:
To be honest, at first I was a little uncertain about the segmentation of parts in the story, not so much in terms of the flashbacks - because with them being italicised, it was fairly clear - but between the leaps in time during the present. But by the end, I actually think it worked quite well. It was jolting, but that's sometimes more successfully than slowly trekking from one moment to the next. Particularly because it was pointed, you were showing us the different phases, if you will.

I really like the unapologetic way you showed that love can change, and not because of something drastic or horrible, but because it alters when someone new comes on the scene. It's far more indicative of real life... the mundane and entirely undramatic way that people can fall in and out of love (without someone cheating or dying etc). There was a wistful sort of hopefulness at the end, when you introduced Griselda. It was the perfect foil for what could otherwise have been a rather depressing end for Charlie.

I think your characterisations were well-formed, particularly Luna. You captured her pureness of spirit and her quirkiness in a really lovely way, without going overboard as some writers are wont to do. No mean feat, because in my opinion she's actually one of the most difficult HP characters to pin down in a really authentic way.

You also had some really nice imagery in this piece, simple, but lovely nonetheless. An example of this would be: Their bright yellow robes stood out in the crowd like goldfinches in a murder of ravens.

Very pretty, indeed.

Anyway, overall I think you did a great job :D I always enjoy reading about minor characters because the experience is always refreshing... there's more of the author invested in the character than we get with the more popular choices.

- Kylie

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the very kind review. I'm sorry that it took me a few days to respond; work has been crazy and I've been extremely tired.

I appreciate the honest commentary on the flashbacks. I think this story needed them, but I don't think I write them particularly well, so it's nice to hear that these were okay.

I really, really enjoy writing Charlie/Tonks unrequited. I just have a vision of them having been more than friends.

Love is complicated and I really wanted to show that. I don't think Charlie and Luna fell out of love because of Rolf, I just think it was their time. I can picture Luna being more sanguine about it than Charlie and I hoped that came through.

Luna's my fave character to write and I'm always glad to hear that I got her characterization down. I agree that too many fan writers overdo Luna. I try not to do that. On a side note, I find Snape hard to write.

Again, thanks for the kind words and the CC. I really appreciate the time you took to read my story.


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