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Review:beckyducky says:
OH i think I DIIEEEDD!!

You are spectacular at humor! Seriously! The Pancake Scene of Doom was so funny! Oh i feel so bad for rose because that is absolutely one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to you. And I do like the family dynamic - Rose is clearly not a complete outsider, but she is a private person. She's not the type to be so open about everything (at least that is how you set up the character) so i like how you write rose towards the end of this chapter.

Grr. now I'm so curious as to what happened between dearest rose and darling scorpius! You can't leave us at this cliffhanger!! It's like Crucio! Unforgivable!

...-__-;; I know that was lame but really... i'm dying of curiousity!! Please update because it's a great read!

The best part of this was the dialogue! The interactions seem like they actually happened, not written.

The only thing i'll point out in terms of mechanics is punctuation in dialogue.

Sample from your chapter:

"Bloody Hell Rose, calm down" Said Al dragging Hugo to the door "Come on Hu let's go"

It really should be:

"Bloody hell Rose! Calm down," said Al, draggin Hugo to the door. "Come on Hu, let's go."

Okay, so punctuation isn't your forte; that's fine!! I think you should get a beta to catch those mistakes! The puntuation didnt necessarily take away from the enjoyment of the piece, but I did trip over some things as I was reading.

Overall great!

Author's Response: Omg! Thank you soo much for the review it made my day *massive smile*. I am glad you liked the story and took the time to write me a review. Eeeek i know there are grammar mistakes, but i want to thank you for reading the content and not just focusing on the grammar. I do intend to fix it and i am in the process of looking for a beta. I am glad that you like the plot, there will be more twists and turns to come. Keep reading:-D!

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