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Review:Northumbrian says:
Hi
You really manage to bring a character who is no more than a name to life. Lisa's self-doubt in the first part of this story, is very well written, well done.
Colin Creevey's death is an event which seems to run through my stories, too. You manage to bring out the tragedy of the death of the youngest combatant (who would not have any mourners at his bedside because his parents are Muggles.
A couple of things to look at:
First: on the edge of the road for a week? That seems very unlikely. Perhaps you should expand on that. Perhaps that is what she wass told, after all, she was three, she can't remember.
Second: Second section, third paragraph - "she was scared off" should be "she was scared of" and "guiltity" minor things, I know, and easily fixed.
Well done.
N

Author's Response: Hullo!
Thank you!
I was sort of experiencing this at the present time and I suppose that effected my writing.
I felt so sorry for him when he died. He was such a lively character that I felt I just need to add him in there.
I had an idea this morning on how to fix that and was just about to change it.
Yes, I'm hoping to invest in a beta for all my stories eventually.
Thank you again!
x Ely


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