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Review:Mistress says:
What a great chapter :) I really enjoyed it! I'm still curious about this Bree/Alex dealio. Also, I'm interested in Luxe. I like your introduction of her and how you showed she can be bad (with the retort to the prof) as well as told through other characters. Great job on that. Rose definitely interests me in this story. So does Lily.

Here are some of my thoughts/faves:

She’s a life ruiner. She lives to ruin lives. Especially mine.
-Love this.

I say and she shakes my hand. It’s soft and has lotion on it.
-This makes it sound like Al's hand is soft and has lotion lol.

“I’m a Potter, Rosie. We’re friendly people.”
-I can see him saying this with a cocky smirk. Love it.

I had my first girl friend in Second year, and she broke up with me because I didn’t talk to her. Cheese on you, Olivia Humphrey.
-Yeah, I changed a word in there. Had to. But anyway, I loved this. He thinks it so nonchalantly.

“Not trying to sound like a chick, but, I’m just looking out for you, mate.” I chuckle because he so sounds like a chick.
-Haha I love this section and love that you used it for your summary. The only problem I had is I thought that RIGHT at the end of this line you could have done the time-pass. You can cut the sentence after, plus the mini paragraph after and have it have a much bigger impact.

“Is that letter from James?” I ask her
-HAHA! This reminds me of many things Jane does actually. Jumps to conclusions. I am shocked that he was right. I'm really curious what's in that letter. And if it's from the actual James. What if they were secretly dating and that's why Bree was named Captain? Dun dun dunnn.

I pass Joey Redbird and his group of mates that have spiky hair and fancy air guitar. I ignore Joey’s frantic waving.
-This is one of those references that isn't too far. It's hilarious. The Power Puff reference might have been a little off-putting for some people.

Sucky grades that need to get over themselves and get higher so my Mum can stop freaking out.
-Love the grades needing to getover themselves.

Great chapter. Loved it :) I can't wait to read the next one! I hope your days are fabulous and school is nice...since you wouldn't trade me and I'm at work, haha.

Great work! 10/10

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!
Actually, were going to find out a lot about the whole Bree/Alexandra dilemma next chapter.. so all your guesses will be answered(:
I think Rose and Lily are one of my favorite characters that Al interacts with a lot... I have so much planned for the both of them and I love how close the both of them are :D

Thanks, again (:


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