Thank you for dropping by my review thread, dear! I hope you are well. ^_^
Okay, so I think you tricked me a little bit. Haha. This story can be a Crossover! And on my thread I said that I won't accept Crossover stories. But you know what? I forgive you because I adore Mythology! And I must say, you've written this very well. I didn't notice any glaring grammatical errors, your tense was consistent, punctuations well-placed, so over all, a very good job indeed! And your idea about having the Greek gods and goddesses to actually be powerful witches and wizards was very clever.
One problem I had with this story, though, was the formatting. Notice how the paragraphs were separated by huge chunks of spaces in between? Personally, it's not very easy on the eyes for me and it was one of the reasons why was a little distracted while reading. And I want you to watch out for those Potter terms as well. Words like Engorgement Charms and Avada Kedavra should always, always be capitalized, just as JKR wrote them. It's just something I feel very particular about.
As someone who loves those stories about Greek immortals, I truly appreciated you for the details you've put into this. I mean, you've incorporated the classic myths and added some twist, which I really enjoyed. Let's do this by character, shall we?
Zeus. The voice you gave him made me think that he was a pureblood for some reason. He definitely had that arrogance and smugness in him whenever he ranted about the Muggles. But he didn't irritate me at all because he was funny! Haha. I loved his dry humour actually, which made me think that despite those condescending words he had for the nonmagical people, deep inside he was very fond of them all for feeding his gargantuan ego. :P
Demeter. Good call on making her the Herbology genius in the family! It really fits, no? Demeter, the goddess of harvest, actually portrayed as one sourly mother... cool! The story of Persephone and the pomegranates is still one of my favourites in Mythology, so you get extra point for that! Heehee.
Hestia. Now, now, easy on Hestia! Haha. She's a a sweet and gentle character and I didn't like it very much that Zeus was a little mean to her. :P But the way you connected her being the goddess normally associated with the protection household and families to the Fidelius Charm was very nifty! This line: ... some of us suggested to maybe concentrate on protective charms for people, she went off in a huff and stoked the fireplace. made me laugh! Hestia, the goddess of the hearth, stoking fires? Epic.
Hades. Now that's an interesting idea. Dementors? Really? Hmmm... You know that dementors grows on the darkest, dankest places, right? So another good call on that cave. But I dunno, considering that dementors feed on a person's happy emotions, Hades must be the most blissful member of the family, yeah? Haha.
Ares and Hephaestus. (No, I'm not being lazy about this. :P) I think you've captured them well. I mean, the god of war dueling with everyone was kind of predictable, but really, I can't see you portraying Ares in any other way as such. He wouldn't be associated with arguments when he'd be all nice and fluffy, right? And Hephaestus, poor guy. Even in your story he was considered lame. And him being a Squib fitted really well, too! Magic doesn't go well with technology and craftsmanship, does it? Well, in that sense, thank you for cutting old Hephaestus some slack. :P
Aphrodite. Amortentia=genius. Nuff said.
Athene. Ahh, my favourite goddess! Again, the way you incorporated the Greek myths to your characters' profiles really impressed me. Athene did compete with Poseidon to be the patron of Athens. *pats back* Good one! I just wished you included Medusa somewhere in there, though. But that's just me. I just love me some Mythology, really. That's probably why I'm gushing so much in this review right now. Sorry. :P
The Twins. I have no idea why they portrayed them as serial killers. Well, Apollo could indeed be associated with plagues and such but Artemis? If I remember correctly, she's also associated with childbirth as well, so I dunno. *shrugs*
Dionysius. Heehee. Turning water into wine. Another good call! Really now, if you can get people to lose their inhibitions during gatherings, then it was no surprise that our friend Dionysius would be the social butterfly of the family. Haha.
Hermes. Hey! There's a lot of things that Hermes could do aside from flying. He's my favourite among the gods, so forgive me if I'm being defensive. :P Being someone who works in the medical field, I see Hermes' symbol everyday, that's why. And I'm a Hufflepuff and as far as I'm concerned, Helga and Hermes have the same principle that everyone deserves some acknowledgment - even the minority and the marginalized like thieves and shepherds and weary travelers.
I'm sorry if I didn't really offer that much CC. I was about to say, actually, that your setting appeared to be a couple of years after the battle with the Titans, so it must mean that civilization was just starting then; therefore, your use of words was a little too modern for that era - but one reviewer already pointed that out and you said that this is only a tongue in cheek story, right? That's alright then. But they raised a very good point. Just saying. ^_^
There you have it! Over all, as you already know, I truly enjoyed reading this. Keep up the good work! I'll see you around and keep writing! ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you so much for such an awesome review! I have two non-HP obsessions: history and classical studies, so I had a great time incorporating all the Greek mythology knowledge I gathered in my Classics class this year into some HP lore. And I think it's absolutely, completely, totally 10% awesome that you understood all my references to the Greek gods. This review made my day as much, if not more than, NaNoWriMo excitement. With regard to Apollo and Artemis, according to my classics textbook they were held responsible for any forms of mass death; Apollo apparently killed the boys and Artemis the girls. I wasn't entirely sure how to incorporate such things as being the god of the sun/music/propechy or goddess of the moon/hunting/childbirth, so I just took that aspect and rolled with it.
I admit I was a bit brief with Hermes and I apologise, because I am quite a Hermes fan myself, I think he's awesome.
Zeus has always, always come across to me as rather arrogant, so I naturally had to make him like that in my story.
Athene's my favourite goddess too :D And once again, it made my day that you picked up on the mythological references.
And yes, Hestia is sweet and gentle, but I don't think those are qualities particularly valued by Zeus :P
Regarding your criticisms, I'm aware of the spacing issue and the moment I get me a slot in the validation queue I'll have it fixed. And yes, the language is modern, but I don't think I could have pulled off quite the same humour effect without it. I think there's a comical aspect in itself with an ancient Greek "god" talking about serial killers.
Once again, though, you are awesome, I loved this review, and it made me do smiling. Thank you, thank you, thank you :D