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Review:VeniceLily says:
Hi there,
So sorry this took so much longer for me to get to than I thought it would!

This is such a charming one-shot, I really enjoyed it. Such a cute, childish story, but still so moving.

I love the idea of the brooch - it was the most valuable item, but Severus chose to give it to Lily . It's a wonderful example of how much he really loved her. It's heartbreaking to see that he would rather give it to her, and take the punishment, than not.

I have to say though, I feel like more should have been done with it - Like Lily sending it back to him years later, or keeping it until she married James, or something of the sort. I don't like that it just disappeared to a gutter one night, because it's clear they still had a friendship after this night...

You have a couple of typos here and there, but they don't distract the reader to much. One thing I would personally change, would be the "my love", Severus says to Lily. I really doubt he would be bold enough to say that to her.

Other than that, it's really cute, and I really enjoyed the ending especially, showing that she still dreams about him, about the brooch.


Author's Response: Hey there,

Sorry it took me so long to respond...I've had a response in my head! The hubby is laying in bed sick with the flu so I've been a bit distracted playing nurse :-P

ANYWAYS, thanks for your lovely compliments.

You also make some very valid points. I'm not sure yet if I would change what happens to the brooch, I think there is also some significance at it being thrown in the gutter, but then, who knows what happens when I'm having an edit-happy day.

I do agree with you on the my-love thing upon further thought. Once I get this beta'd, it would be a good chance to change it and get to those typos.

So thanks for taking the time to write a thoughtful review, always appreciated.


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