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Review:SeverusLove says:
Dear Yoshi Kitten,

Hi! It's me from the forums, here to review on the one-shot you submitted for the TWH.

First of all, thank you for submitting, I really appreciate it.

Secondly, I think your plot was very good and well-written but the ending was a bit of a cliffhanger though. Is there supposed to be a story connected to this somehow?

Third, I think your grammar/spelling was very good. But I'd like to point out a few things.

1.) because it doesnít. like I care what they think of me! --I don't know if you did this intentionally but I think "like" has to have a capital "L".

2.) as this this change will take some time getting used to. --I think just one "this" would do the trick.

3.) my grandmother is a seeier.

known as the greatest seeier of all time, --I think seer is spelled as "seer".

But aside from that, I think it was an interesting one-shot so, well done. ^^ Oh, and if you plan on editing this one-shot any time soon, please PM me because I'll have to go over it again to make it fit with the riddle I have for the TWH. Again, thank you and well done,

Keep Writing,
Sevvy

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review!! And Idk if you noticed it in the chapter summary or not, but this is actually a companion piece for my novel; All is NOT Fair in Love & war... This takes place right after chapter 5, so yes there IS another story connected to this one! :)

And thanks for pointing those few errors out to me. I have gone back through and edited them now, so hopefully all of the new corrections will be posted soon! I had to change a lot of things to make sure the word count was right at 1,500, so you may want to read through it again if you plan to use it for the TWH...

I appreciate you taking the time to read & review, and I hope you can use it in the game! Oh, and if you're ever board and looking for something to read, you can always read my Novel too, if you want to, haha!! ^_^'

~Deana~


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